What Is Essential in Life . . .

What is essential in life and love and relationships is for each person to arrive at some understanding of what love actually is and is not, and then to hold oneself above all to those standards (i.e.—to being the best and most loving version of oneself possible).

If a human being will do that, then he or she will do much with their life. One’s life will be infused with a purpose beyond one’s own gratification—beyond the gratification of one’s ego or lower self.

But if a person is unwilling to do so, then that person will go through life never having been born psychologically or spiritually, asleep in his or her relationships, and using those relationships as places to hide out in and go to only for comfort, gratification, affirmation, and he or she will be using others as a means in all of this, treating others not as people who are real but rather pseudo-persons who are highly expendable, disposable, replaceable, interchangeable. And to live and relate to others in this way is to go through life asleep—asleep in the dream-/nightmare- world of the ego with its incessant scrambling for its own gratification, comfort, escapes, security, dependencies, et cetera.

About John

I am a married, 46-year old, Midwesterner, with four children. My primary interest is in leading a very examined and decent and Loving life; my interests that are related to this and that feed into this include (and are not limited to) -- psychology, philosophy, poetry, critical thinking, photography, soccer, tennis, chess, bridge.
This entry was posted in Mature Love, Real Love, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to What Is Essential in Life . . .

  1. magicallymad says:

    thank you, reblogging…

    • John says:

      Thank you, Jill, for the reblog and for what you wrote over there in your intro to my post–“Any Borderline could use this piece of wisdom, it’s like a kick in the ass, but is good to have for those of us who love in survival mode.” (And I commented over there on your thread, Jill, so you may want to check your spam folder, lol; most of my comments seem to wind up there! Thanks WordPress!)

      So many people seem to give so little thought to love—to what it is—to what it actually is—and to what it takes to make it actually work and thrive (it does takes work and a lot of self-growth!). Love doesn’t seem to last too long where there are a lot of inconsistencies and where people are leading unexamined lives (lives where they do not examine their own behaviors and reactions) and where people are not trying to grow and deepen as individuals. A good and healthy relationship, like the good life itself, requires a good amount of solid thinking, and most of all that we lose that inconsistency/immaturity where we expect others to live up to higher standards than we hold ourselves to. That sort of inconsistency will not fly when it comes to Love; it’s the ultimate proof positive of someone who is fast asleep and leading a very unexamined life; basically the person is alive but living as if they’re not alive . . . the person is just sleepwalking through life. I can’t stress that enough. We start to wake up and grow and get healthier as human beings the moment we get serious about ending that hypocrisy where we expect more out of others than out of ourselves.

      Too many years of Hollywood happy-endings and Disney-like fairytales and pop ballads seem to have to softened the collective mind of we humans and so most of us really have little to no idea regarding what Love actually is and what to hope for in a relationship and a partner and what to aspire to out of ourselves, other than what we’ve been fed from the entertainment industry—an industry that basically puts lowest common denominator stuff out there to feed our fantasies and take as much as possible of our collective disposable income as possible.

      So my blog and my posts are minor attempts to inject a bit of truth light and reality into such a wilderness and to add a bit of clarity on the subject matter of Love–what it is and what it is not.

      Kindest regards, Jill, and thank you for the reblog!


  2. Pingback: “Setting Fire to the World”—The Unexamined & Undisciplined Life in Action | The Places That Scare You

  3. Pingback: Love & Our Two Selves | What Is Real True Love?

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