What is essential in life and love and relationships is for each person to arrive at some understanding of what love actually is and is not, and then to hold oneself above all to those standards (i.e.—to being the best and most loving version of oneself possible).
If a human being will do that, then he or she will do much with their life. One’s life will be infused with a purpose beyond one’s own gratification—beyond the gratification of one’s ego or lower self.
But if a person is unwilling to do so, then that person will go through life never having been born psychologically or spiritually, asleep in his or her relationships, and using those relationships as places to hide out in and go to only for comfort, gratification, affirmation, and he or she will be using others as a means in all of this, treating others not as people who are real but rather pseudo-persons who are highly expendable, disposable, replaceable, interchangeable. And to live and relate to others in this way is to go through life asleep—asleep in the dream-/nightmare- world of the ego with its incessant scrambling for its own gratification, comfort, escapes, security, dependencies, et cetera.