What Does “I Love You” Mean to You?

I Love You

What does it really mean when you say “I love you” to your partner/spouse?

Does it ultimately mean— “I like/love/am addicted to how you make me feel, I like/love/am addicted to what you do for me because it makes me feel warm, glowing, giddy, alive. You agree with me, you support me, you validate me, you make me look good to others, you give me what I want, and this is why you are important to me and why I keep you around and why I say that I love you to you.”—?

Or does it ultimately mean— “In all the world, you are unique to me. There is no one who thinks like you, acts like you, sees the world like you, sees me like you do, has your little quirks and neuroticisms, your little eccentricities. Thus you are not expendable and interchangeable, nor can you ever be. And thus obviously you are not a means or a prop to me, but a real person; I see the you of you, I see who you are in your core, and I appreciate and relish that, and I am so grateful that you want to share yourself with me.”—?

Or does it mean something else to you?

Please share below in the comment section what “I love you” means to you when you say it to your partner or spouse or beloved, or when you hear it spoken to you.

When I say I love you


About John

I am a married, 46-year old, Midwesterner, with four children. My primary interest is in leading a very examined and decent and Loving life; my interests that are related to this and that feed into this include (and are not limited to) -- psychology, philosophy, poetry, critical thinking, photography, soccer, tennis, chess, bridge.
This entry was posted in Love, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, The Examined Life, What is Love? and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to What Does “I Love You” Mean to You?

  1. biologymad says:

    That second explanation of ‘I love you’ is exactly what it means to me, & I feel very priviledged to have found that kind of romantic love at last :). I guess what I love you also means to me is that “I want to do whatever I can to show my love to you, support you, inspire you, help you come to your full potential & find fullness of life, & I want to keep learning how to do those things better. & I want my love for you & my knowing of you to keep growing.”

  2. resili0 says:

    I say it everyday. Both me and my partner spent a lot of years suffering ill health, abuse and loneliness and so I love you is my way to express how glad I am to be building a life with him. I say it verbally but also in the little things I do whether it is arranging towels in the way he prefers or in doing something small to help him along in his day. Love can be said aloud but often the impact comes from knowing someone thinks about you and serves you in ways that show their appreciation.

  3. Buzz A says:

    Definitely # 2 for me too Babe! I love you! xo


  4. Pingback: The real meaning of ‘I love you’? (repost) | In Pursuit of Love

  5. Anonymous says:

    To me it is equal to water, without we die,…..yet it is like finding water in Sahara….
    everyone wants it, …..people are covered with scares ……selfishness and ego prevail …..we are a majority of zombies walking on our small narrow paths into loneliness….till we die
    because nothing and nobody is good enough for me…there must be more….and that hunger drives our ego ….but it will never produce love…..yet we keep on this narrow path till it is all over

  6. liver deux says:

    Friends in LOVE ..

  7. Asti Bhati Priyam Rupam. Rupam means ‘form’. I love this object. All we really ever love is the pleased self. Everything we do is only for the sake of the pleased self. When we say ‘I love you’, what we are doing is projecting this pleased self onto an object, in this case the object is another person. As long as that person evokes the please self we say ‘I love you’, when this person no longer evokes the pleased self then we no longer love that person.

    People talk about ‘unconditional love’ but the only unconditional love is self love. The thing is though is that we take this pleased self to be other than ‘I’. And therein lies the human problem.

Comments (feel free to speak your mind and even to disagree!)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s