Category Archives: Conscious Love

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Lessons and Liberation in Marriage

Posted on June 7, 2023 by John

“In our society, of course, there is no need to become an adult. One may remain—one is exhorted daily to remain—a child forever. “Marriage is pictured as a form of imprisonment, oppression, boredom, and chafing hindrance. Not all these accusations … Continue reading →

Posted in "Marriage Isn't For You", Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Michael Novak, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Self-Extension, The Examined Life, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

In the Gap Between Stimulus and Response is Where Real Love Occurs

Posted on March 12, 2016 by John

I’ll meet you there (to riff on Rumi). Or better yet: Start meeting your partner there. Choice is sexy. When partners choose when and where and how they want to have sex, that is sexy. When they make a choice to engage … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Conscious Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Love Means Opening Yourself Up

Posted on February 15, 2016 by John

. .   A big part of love means consciously opening yourself up to your beloved and sharing with your partner from what’s best in you. This means consciously choosing and risking being vulnerable and trusting your partner and revealing … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Four Loves", C.S. Lewis, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, Truth, Vulnerability, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How to Know If You Are REALLY Ready For a Real Relationship

Posted on April 10, 2014 by John

How do you know if you are (or your partner is) really ready for a REAL relationship. Condition 1: You have strong feelings or a strong sense of attraction for another. You are infatuated with him or her. You are … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Only Proactive People Can Genuinely Love Others, Reactive People Can’t (updated)

Posted on January 17, 2013 by John

(The following is abridged and adapted and modified from Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”) Between stimulus and response, human beings have the freedom to choose—but only *if* we develop and … Continue reading →

Posted in "Man's Search for Meaning", "Siddhartha", Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Hermann Hesse, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Love, the Feeling, versus Love, the Capacity (Immature Love versus Mature Love, part 2)

Posted on January 8, 2013 by John

. A properly (or fully) developed human being is a Loving human being. Love, ultimately, is a capacity. A capacity that develops as the result of developing many other capacities and virtues and behavioral predispositions. Some of these are of … Continue reading →

Posted in chapter 13, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Friendship, Generosity, Gratitude, Honesty, Immature Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Love, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare (updated 12-26-2012)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by John

. (This is an updated version of a post I first publish on Feb 28, 2012 — “Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare“) . . “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Czeslaw Milosz, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Honesty, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Mature Love v Immature Love

Posted on October 11, 2012 by John

. Erich Fromm, in “The Art of Loving,” wrote, “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you’.” The first statement is based on dependency—I am dependent on you, … Continue reading →

Posted in "If You Knew", "Reverence for Life", "The Art of Loving", Albert Schweitzer, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Death, Dependency, Ellen Bass, Emotional Maturity, Erich Fromm, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Rilke, Spiritual Growth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Thomas Merton on Love

Posted on August 1, 2012 by John

. “Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work.” – Anna Quindlen When we are leading a life based on real … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Velveteen Rabbit", 1 John 4:16-18, Anna Quindlen, Chris Rock, Conscious Love, Courage, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Schnarch, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments