Category Archives: Intimate Relationships

In the Gap Between Stimulus and Response is Where Real Love Occurs


I’ll meet you there (to riff on Rumi). Or better yet: Start meeting your partner there. Choice is sexy. When partners choose when and where and how they want to have sex, that is sexy. When they make a choice to engage … Continue reading

Posted in Character, Conscious Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What Are Your Relationships Based On?


. [W]hat is . . . relationship generally based on? Is it not based on so-called interdependence, mutual assistance? At least we say it is mutual help, mutual aid and so on, but, actually, apart from words, apart from the … Continue reading

Posted in Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Krishnamurti, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, What is Love? | 1 Comment

Love Is a Verb (“I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married—The Real Truth About Love”)


. I am going to reblog a very honest and nicely-written article with the attention-grabbing perhaps even somewhat shocking title of “I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married” (The Real Truth About Love) ” by Elad Nehorai (the … Continue reading

Posted in "The Five Love Languages", Elad Nehorai, Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Only Proactive People Can Genuinely Love Others, Reactive People Can’t (updated)


(The following is abridged and adapted and modified from Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”) Between stimulus and response, human beings have the freedom to choose—but only *if* we develop and … Continue reading

Posted in "Man's Search for Meaning", "Siddhartha", Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Hermann Hesse, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare (updated 12-26-2012)


. (This is an updated version of a post I first publish on Feb 28, 2012 — “Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare“) . . “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend … Continue reading

Posted in Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Czeslaw Milosz, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Honesty, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Love *Is* Difficult


. Love is difficult. It is difficult to learn how to really love another person. It is difficult to learn how to love oneself. Loving another means caring deeply for that person, being good to that person, wanting the best … Continue reading

Posted in Difficulty, Immature Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mental Health, Real Love, Rilke, Truth, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

What Is This “Love” Thing All About? (Part 1)


. This will be a two part post. Part one will consist of a repost/reblog of an advice column question and the answer that was given in that column. Part two (which will appear sometime in the next few days) … Continue reading

Posted in "Dear Sugar", "Tiny Beautiful Things", Cheryl Strayed, Courage, Death, Honesty, Intimate Relationships, therumpus.net, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

How Asking Just *One* Question Can Save Your Relationship


It’s easy to fall into a rut with your partner, to let things get stale, boring, monotonous, routine, to take each other for granted. But that’s not Love.  That’s not what Real Love does.  Genuine Love is about cherishing the … Continue reading

Posted in Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Real Love | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Mature Love v Immature Love


. Erich Fromm, in “The Art of Loving,” wrote, “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you’.” The first statement is based on dependency—I am dependent on you, … Continue reading

Posted in "If You Knew", "Reverence for Life", "The Art of Loving", Albert Schweitzer, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Death, Dependency, Ellen Bass, Emotional Maturity, Erich Fromm, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Rilke, Spiritual Growth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Thomas Merton on Love


. “Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work.” – Anna Quindlen When we are leading a life based on real … Continue reading

Posted in "The Velveteen Rabbit", 1 John 4:16-18, Anna Quindlen, Chris Rock, Conscious Love, Courage, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Schnarch, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments