Category Archives: The Examined Life

In the Gap Between Stimulus and Response is Where Real Love Occurs


I’ll meet you there (to riff on Rumi). Or better yet: Start meeting your partner there. Choice is sexy. When partners choose when and where and how they want to have sex, that is sexy. When they make a choice to engage … Continue reading

Posted in Character, Conscious Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What Does “I Love You” Mean to You?


What does it really mean when you say “I love you” to your partner/spouse? Does it ultimately mean— “I like/love/am addicted to how you make me feel, I like/love/am addicted to what you do for me because it makes me feel warm, … Continue reading

Posted in Love, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Love Means Opening Yourself Up


. .   A big part of love means consciously opening yourself up to your beloved and sharing with your partner from what’s best in you. This means consciously choosing and risking being vulnerable and trusting your partner and revealing … Continue reading

Posted in "The Four Loves", C.S. Lewis, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, Truth, Vulnerability, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to Know If You Are REALLY Ready For a Real Relationship


How do you know if you are (or your partner is) really ready for a REAL relationship. Condition 1: You have strong feelings or a strong sense of attraction for another. You are infatuated with him or her. You are … Continue reading

Posted in Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

May God Bless Us All . . . with Discomfort, Anger, Tears, and Foolishness


. . . This is not by any means what we normally think of when asking God to bless us.  Maybe when asking God to “bless” our enemies or oppressors, but not when asking him to bless our family and … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Conscience, Courage, Critical Thinking, Mother Teresa, Personal Growth, Ruth Fox, Saint Teresa of Avila, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What Are Your Relationships Based On?


. [W]hat is . . . relationship generally based on? Is it not based on so-called interdependence, mutual assistance? At least we say it is mutual help, mutual aid and so on, but, actually, apart from words, apart from the … Continue reading

Posted in Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Krishnamurti, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, What is Love? | 1 Comment

How To Begin Being More Thankful


Gratitude, like love, is best defined not as a feeling, but as something so much more and different: as a choice, a behavior, an attitude, as a way of seeing things, as a way of perceiving and thinking about things. … Continue reading

Posted in "Otherwise", Gratitude, Jane Kenyon, The Examined Life, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On Love & Life


. . The story I posted yesterday (about Taylor Morris & Danielle Kelly) led me to reflect  on (and to write about) the nature of love—and life—as well as character, commitment, devotion, for better or worse, and what it means … Continue reading

Posted in "Siddhartha", Commitment, Critical Thinking, Death, Denial, Reactive, Stephen Covey, Taylor Morris, The Examined Life, Truth, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Commentary on “Marriage Isn’t For *You*”


. [A] true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?” Some … Continue reading

Posted in "Marriage Isn't For You", Kierkegaard, Krishnamurti, Love is a Choice, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Marianne Williamson, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Schnarch, Seth Adam Smith, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Love Is a Verb (“I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married—The Real Truth About Love”)


. I am going to reblog a very honest and nicely-written article with the attention-grabbing perhaps even somewhat shocking title of “I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married” (The Real Truth About Love) ” by Elad Nehorai (the … Continue reading

Posted in "The Five Love Languages", Elad Nehorai, Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments