Category Archives: The Examined Life

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Ship Lost at Sea

Posted on November 5, 2023 by John

To be completely free from all expectations and demands from others or oneself is to be like a ship lost at sea, a ship without a captain or a navigator. It is to be a ghost ship completely at the … Continue reading →

Posted in Bishop Barron, Gurdjieff, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Genuine Love & Conscience: Truth v Lies

Posted on November 4, 2023 by John

My writings on this blog thus far have largely focused on differentiating Genuine Love — willing and acting towards the best and deepest and highest interests of the other person as an actual distinct and unique human being in their … Continue reading →

Posted in Gospel of John, Gospel of Matthew, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Lessons and Liberation in Marriage

Posted on June 7, 2023 by John

“In our society, of course, there is no need to become an adult. One may remain—one is exhorted daily to remain—a child forever. “Marriage is pictured as a form of imprisonment, oppression, boredom, and chafing hindrance. Not all these accusations … Continue reading →

Posted in "Marriage Isn't For You", Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Michael Novak, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Self-Extension, The Examined Life, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

In the Gap Between Stimulus and Response is Where Real Love Occurs

Posted on March 12, 2016 by John

I’ll meet you there (to riff on Rumi). Or better yet: Start meeting your partner there. Choice is sexy. When partners choose when and where and how they want to have sex, that is sexy. When they make a choice to engage … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Conscious Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What Does “I Love You” Mean to You?

Posted on February 17, 2016 by John

What does it really mean when you say “I love you” to your partner/spouse? Does it ultimately mean— “I like/love/am addicted to how you make me feel, I like/love/am addicted to what you do for me because it makes me feel warm, … Continue reading →

Posted in Love, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

Love Means Opening Yourself Up

Posted on February 15, 2016 by John

. .   A big part of love means consciously opening yourself up to your beloved and sharing with your partner from what’s best in you. This means consciously choosing and risking being vulnerable and trusting your partner and revealing … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Four Loves", C.S. Lewis, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, Truth, Vulnerability, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How to Know If You Are REALLY Ready For a Real Relationship

Posted on April 10, 2014 by John

How do you know if you are (or your partner is) really ready for a REAL relationship. Condition 1: You have strong feelings or a strong sense of attraction for another. You are infatuated with him or her. You are … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

May God Bless Us All . . . with Discomfort, Anger, Tears, and Foolishness

Posted on December 5, 2013 by John

. . . This is not by any means what we normally think of when asking God to bless us.  Maybe when asking God to “bless” our enemies or oppressors, but not when asking him to bless our family and … Continue reading →

Posted in Community, Conscience, Courage, Critical Thinking, Mother Teresa, Personal Growth, Ruth Fox, Saint Teresa of Avila, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What Are Your Relationships Based On?

Posted on November 29, 2013 by John

. [W]hat is . . . relationship generally based on? Is it not based on so-called interdependence, mutual assistance? At least we say it is mutual help, mutual aid and so on, but, actually, apart from words, apart from the … Continue reading →

Posted in Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Krishnamurti, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, What is Love? | 1 Comment