Tag Archives: differentiation

Only Proactive People Can Genuinely Love Others, Reactive People Can’t (updated)

Posted on January 17, 2013 by John

(The following is abridged and adapted and modified from Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”) Between stimulus and response, human beings have the freedom to choose—but only *if* we develop and … Continue reading →

Posted in "Man's Search for Meaning", "Siddhartha", Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Hermann Hesse, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Criticism, Critical Thinking, and Love

Posted on January 5, 2013 by John

. One of the running themes throughout all of my blogs and many blog posts has been encouraging anyone who reads or strays across these posts and pages to try and lead as examined and reflective a life as possible. … Continue reading →

Posted in Critical Thinking, Criticism, Denial, John Kenneth Galbraith, M. Scott Peck, Matthew 7: 1-6, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Winston Churchill | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Are You *Ready* for a Relationship?

Posted on June 2, 2012 by John

Good relationships don’t happen by “accident.” They’re not just based on chemical attraction, projection, and mutual intoxication that just happens to last for years and years. Good relationships require something more: they require fundamentally good and decent people. When two … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Cullen Hightower, Dependency, Differentiation, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Responsibility, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Differentiation, Love, and Living with Integrity

Posted on May 28, 2012 by John

. Many people appear to think that living with integrity means living in alignment with their feelings. That if they feel a certain way about someone or something, then “integrity” requires that they act in a way that is in … Continue reading →

Posted in Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Martin Luther King Jr., Mental Health, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

David Schnarch Defines Love

Posted on May 16, 2012 by John

In the first 5 minutes of this short video, David Schnarch, one of the world’s foremost and wisest marriage therapists, talks about Love. . . “Loving someone is a very active process.  Love is not just a feeling you have; … Continue reading →

Posted in David Schnarch, Differentiation, Intimate Relationships, Mature Love, Schnarch, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

It Changes EVERYTHING! (part 2)

Posted on January 31, 2012 by John

I was reading through another blog this morning, and as I read through one of her posts I came across the following paragraph and I thought it to be very wise and well-stated. And then I just started writing my … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Responsibility, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Road Less Traveled, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Only Proactive People Can Genuinely Love Others, Reactive People Can’t

Posted on November 11, 2011 by John

(The following is abridged and adapted and modified from Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”) Between stimulus and response, human beings have the freedom to choose—but only if—if—we  develop and exercise … Continue reading →

Posted in "Man's Search for Meaning", Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Dependency, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Proactivity, Reactive, Responsibility, Self-Love, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Road Less Traveled, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

“Differentiation: The Most Loving Thing You Can Do” (From “Passionate Marriage,” by David Schnarch)

Posted on April 16, 2011 by John

Since differentiation is a complex process that is easily misunderstood, let me offer several important clarifications: People screaming, “I got to be me!” “Don’t fence me in!” and “I need space!” are not highly differentiated people. Just the opposite. They … Continue reading →

Posted in Courage, Differentiation, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Schnarch, What is Love? | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Being In Love and Being Loving Are Two Different Things

Posted on April 12, 2011 by John

There are basically two kinds of couples: Those who have strong enough character and enough emotional maturity to work at the inevitable difficulties of marriage and long-term relationships. And those who don’t. Being in love and being loving are two … Continue reading →

Posted in Courage, Differentiation, James Hollis, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Uncategorized, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment