Category Archives: Self-Extension

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Lessons and Liberation in Marriage

Posted on June 7, 2023 by John

“In our society, of course, there is no need to become an adult. One may remain—one is exhorted daily to remain—a child forever. “Marriage is pictured as a form of imprisonment, oppression, boredom, and chafing hindrance. Not all these accusations … Continue reading →

Posted in "Marriage Isn't For You", Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Michael Novak, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Self-Extension, The Examined Life, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare (updated 12-26-2012)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by John

. (This is an updated version of a post I first publish on Feb 28, 2012 — “Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare“) . . “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Czeslaw Milosz, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Honesty, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

How to Fall in Love Again

Posted on December 7, 2012 by John

(This is an updated version of a page I first posted over a year ago . . . )  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “I have no … Continue reading →

Posted in C.S. Lewis, GinaParris.com, Glennon Melton, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Momastery, Real Love, Self-Extension, The Road Less Traveled, Thomas Merton, What is Love?, Zig Ziglar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Brief Book Review of M. Scott Peck’s “The Road Less Traveled”

Posted on September 24, 2012 by John

. . In “The Road Less Traveled,” psychiatrist Morgan Scott Peck (M. Scott Peck) begins the book by turning on its end one of our most cherished and fundamental assumptions about life—that it ought to be easy. The vast majority of we human … Continue reading →

Posted in M. Scott Peck, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, The Road Less Traveled, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Thomas Merton on Love

Posted on August 1, 2012 by John

. “Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work.” – Anna Quindlen When we are leading a life based on real … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Velveteen Rabbit", 1 John 4:16-18, Anna Quindlen, Chris Rock, Conscious Love, Courage, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Schnarch, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Self-Revelation versus Self-Presentation & Giving versus Getting: A Few More Thoughts on Real Love & Intimacy (updated 4-2-12)

Posted on April 2, 2012 by John

. (This is an update of my post “Self-Revelation versus Self-Presentation & Giving versus Getting: A Few More Thoughts on Real Love & Intimacy” from November 18, 2011) . Intimacy For most people intimacy equates with self-presentation, a process much … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Robbins, Conscious Love, Generosity, Gratitude, Immature Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Joseph Campbell, Ken Wilber, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Heart of Love: Who to Exclude & Why

Posted on March 8, 2012 by John

. . For those of us who are truly trying to grow spiritually, the question of “who am I to love and how?”—and its inverse, “who am I not to love or not to give my attention and care to … Continue reading →

Posted in 365daysofcourage.wordpress.com, Intimate Relationships, Kierkegaard, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 10:25-37, Matthew 25: 31-46, Matthew 25:40, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Love Languages

Posted on March 7, 2012 by John

Maybe. . . . I think that perhaps when we’re very young or when we’re just beginners in love, or perhaps if we were raised in a household where love was given in a very idiosyncratic and inconsistent way and … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Five Love Languages", Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Mature Love, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , | 17 Comments

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare

Posted on February 28, 2012 by John

“We too often love things and use people when we should be using things and loving people.” “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend it; when your friendship fails, you run.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Courage, Dependency, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Love is Not a Feeling, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 44 Comments