Category Archives: Mature Love

Dr. Tori Olds’ Interview with Dr. Stan Tatkin, Founder of PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy)

Posted on December 28, 2023 by John

(My abridged transcription. Parentheses and bold and italics are mine.) Let me start with things that are true about the human primate. We are threat animals: if we do anything really really well we are good at scanning for threat … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. Stan Tatkin, Dr. Tori Olds, Emotional Maturity, Growing Up, Intimate Relationships, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, PACT - Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, Personal Growth, Self-Awareness | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Lessons and Liberation in Marriage

Posted on June 7, 2023 by John

“In our society, of course, there is no need to become an adult. One may remain—one is exhorted daily to remain—a child forever. “Marriage is pictured as a form of imprisonment, oppression, boredom, and chafing hindrance. Not all these accusations … Continue reading →

Posted in "Marriage Isn't For You", Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Michael Novak, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Self-Extension, The Examined Life, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

In the Gap Between Stimulus and Response is Where Real Love Occurs

Posted on March 12, 2016 by John

I’ll meet you there (to riff on Rumi). Or better yet: Start meeting your partner there. Choice is sexy. When partners choose when and where and how they want to have sex, that is sexy. When they make a choice to engage … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Conscious Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Quotes on LOVE

Posted on February 26, 2016 by John

. “Love seeks one thing only: the good of the one loved. . . . To love another is to will what is really good for him [or her]. A love that . . . loves blindly merely for the … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Art of Loving", David Schnarch, Erich Fromm, Mature Love, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thomas Merton, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Love Means Opening Yourself Up

Posted on February 15, 2016 by John

. .   A big part of love means consciously opening yourself up to your beloved and sharing with your partner from what’s best in you. This means consciously choosing and risking being vulnerable and trusting your partner and revealing … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Four Loves", C.S. Lewis, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, Truth, Vulnerability, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Is it Possible to Lie & Deceive Someone We Love?

Posted on January 27, 2015 by John

Is it possible to lie and deceive someone we love? One of the blogs I read on occasion (http://relationshipremedy.com/2015/01/28/sex-lies-and-the-truth/) asked a question similar to that asked above. And the short answer is: No, of course not. And the longer answer … Continue reading →

Posted in Antilove, Commitment, Immature Love, Intimacy, Kindness, Love, Love Is a Verb, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Real Love, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How to Know If You Are REALLY Ready For a Real Relationship

Posted on April 10, 2014 by John

How do you know if you are (or your partner is) really ready for a REAL relationship. Condition 1: You have strong feelings or a strong sense of attraction for another. You are infatuated with him or her. You are … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Marriage Box. (Relationships Are About What We Put Into Them, Not What We Get Out of Them)

Posted on December 4, 2013 by John

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Robbins, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Marriage Box, Mature Love, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Real Love, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Love Story in Pictures — Taylor Morris & Danielle Kelly

Posted on November 21, 2013 by John

I recently came across the story online of this incredible young couple, Taylor Morris & Danielle Kelly, and I wanted to share the site I originally found the story on as well as other sites I found while looking more … Continue reading →

Posted in Commitment, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Mature Love, Real Love, Taylor Morris, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments