Category Archives: Differentiation

The Serenity Prayer, Self-Acceptance & Self-Care, and Discernment


. DISCERNMENT.  (Noun.)  A core component of wisdom.  The ability to make fine yet profound/crucial distinctions; the ability to see (comprehend) more clearly what is unclear and obscure. The Serenity Prayer (as it applies to ourselves) God, grant me the … Continue reading

Posted in Conscience, Courage, Critical Thinking, Czeslaw Milosz, Denial, Differentiation, Difficulty, Goethe, John Kenneth Galbraith, Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Self-Love, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Positive Peace versus Negative Peace: A Few Quotes & Excerpts on How Real Peace and Understanding Might Actually Be Achieved


(or—How to Distinguish Those Who Really Are Trying to Promote True Peace from Those Who Are Merely Seeking Comfort, Escape, and the Appearance of Peace) . . Peace is a nebulous word, having at least *two* definitions. And the way … Continue reading

Posted in B4Peace, Baltasar Gracián, Bloggers for Peace, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Difficulty, Emerson, Emotional Maturity, Gandhi, Henry Ward Beecher, Luke 12:51, Martin Luther King Jr., Matthew 10:34, Perspective, Spiritual Growth, The Dalai Lama, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Only Proactive People Can Genuinely Love Others, Reactive People Can’t (updated)


(The following is abridged and adapted and modified from Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”) Between stimulus and response, human beings have the freedom to choose—but only *if* we develop and … Continue reading

Posted in "Man's Search for Meaning", "Siddhartha", Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Hermann Hesse, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Love, the Feeling, versus Love, the Capacity (Immature Love versus Mature Love, part 2)


. A properly (or fully) developed human being is a Loving human being. Love, ultimately, is a capacity. A capacity that develops as the result of developing many other capacities and virtues and behavioral predispositions. Some of these are of … Continue reading

Posted in chapter 13, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Friendship, Generosity, Gratitude, Honesty, Immature Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Love, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare (updated 12-26-2012)


. (This is an updated version of a post I first publish on Feb 28, 2012 — “Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare“) . . “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend … Continue reading

Posted in Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Czeslaw Milosz, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Honesty, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Are You *Ready* for a Relationship?


Good relationships don’t happen by “accident.” They’re not just based on chemical attraction, projection, and mutual intoxication that just happens to last for years and years. Good relationships require something more: they require fundamentally good and decent people. When two … Continue reading

Posted in Conscience, Cullen Hightower, Dependency, Differentiation, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Responsibility, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Differentiation, Love, and Living with Integrity


. Many people appear to think that living with integrity means living in alignment with their feelings. That if they feel a certain way about someone or something, then “integrity” requires that they act in a way that is in … Continue reading

Posted in Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Martin Luther King Jr., Mental Health, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

David Schnarch Defines Love


In the first 5 minutes of this short video, David Schnarch, one of the world’s foremost and wisest marriage therapists, talks about Love. . . “Loving someone is a very active process.  Love is not just a feeling you have; … Continue reading

Posted in David Schnarch, Differentiation, Intimate Relationships, Mature Love, Schnarch, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare


“We too often love things and use people when we should be using things and loving people.” “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend it; when your friendship fails, you run.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne … Continue reading

Posted in Conscience, Courage, Dependency, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Love is Not a Feeling, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

The Learning of Love & Gratitude


. “The hardest arithmetic to master is the one which enables us to count our blessings.” – Eric Hoffer “When it comes to life the critical thing is whether we take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” – … Continue reading

Posted in C.S. Lewis, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Erich Fromm, G. K. Chesterton, Gratitude, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, James Hollis, Krishnamurti, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, M. Scott Peck, Marianne Williamson, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Rilke, Schnarch, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Road Less Traveled, Waking Up, What is Love?, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments