Tag Archives: Relationship

Commentary on “Marriage Isn’t For *You*”

Posted on November 5, 2013 by John

. [A] true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?” while Love asks, “What can I give?” Some … Continue reading →

Posted in "Marriage Isn't For You", Kierkegaard, Krishnamurti, Love is a Choice, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Marianne Williamson, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Schnarch, Seth Adam Smith, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It changes EVERYTHING!

Posted on January 30, 2012 by John

There seems to be a double standard at the heart of most intimate relationships, and that is that we tend to consistently expect the best for ourselves while not nearly as often expecting the best out of ourselves. We want our … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Robbins, Antilove, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Gandhi, Generosity, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Matthew 7: 1-6, Mature Love, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Happy Birthday: Intimacy & the Birth of One’s (Deepest) Self

Posted on January 9, 2012 by John

This is what intimacy is all about, in my opinion: it’s about having some real depth to oneself, continuing to develop your own depths, yet finding another who is also similarly and compatibly deep, and sharing your depth and exploring … Continue reading →

Posted in "The God Who Loves You", C.S. Lewis, Carl Dennis, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Death, Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Responsibility, Rilke, Sarah Ruhl, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Why Marriages and Long-Term Relationships Succeed or Fail

Posted on November 28, 2011 by John

The short answer is: it all comes down to the level of character development of the two people in the relationship and the reason why they entered into the relationship. Deeply decent people have it within themselves to make a … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Art of Loving", Conscience, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Responsibility, Schnarch, Spiritual Growth, The Road Less Traveled, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Self-Revelation versus Self-Presentation & Giving versus Getting: A Few More Thoughts on Real Love & Intimacy

Posted on November 18, 2011 by John

Intimacy For most people intimacy equates with self-presentation, a process much different from self-revelation.  Self-revelation occurs with minimal to no spin and or editing.  Self-presentation, on the other hand, relies heavily on spin and editing and manipulating and managing the … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Robbins, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Gratitude, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Joseph Campbell, Ken Wilber, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Love & Intimacy: Some Basic Definitions

Posted on November 17, 2011 by John

Intimacy Intimacy means self-revelation.  In other words, intimacy requires self-revelation.  Which means if you think you are in an intimate relationship but you are hiding parts of yourself (whether due to immaturity, trust issues, psychopathology, or for fear of your … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Dependency, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Gratitude, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Responsibility, Schnarch, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thoreau, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Are You in a Conscious or an Unconscious Relationship?

Posted on October 15, 2011 by John

Our intimate relationships and friendships (even family relationships between adults) can be characterized as being either conscious or unconscious. A conscious relationship is organized around two people’s highest values and principles; it is governed by their consciences, by their sense … Continue reading →

Posted in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Gratitude, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Kohlberg, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Prayer of St. Francis, Spiritual Growth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Why Real Love Is Not a Feeling

Posted on March 4, 2011 by John

The feeling of love is about oneself—how we feel about a person or how a person makes us feel is completely about us, not the other person. And that’s not love—not real love. Real love is about the other person … Continue reading →

Posted in Courage, Differentiation, Erich Fromm, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

What is Love?

Posted on February 8, 2011 by John

“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.” – Erich Fromm If you truly want to help revolutionize life on earth, if you truly want to become part of the solution instead of perpetuating … Continue reading →

Posted in Courage, Love, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments