Tag Archives: Love is Not a Feeling

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Love, the Feeling, versus Love, the Capacity (Immature Love versus Mature Love, part 2)

Posted on January 8, 2013 by John

. A properly (or fully) developed human being is a Loving human being. Love, ultimately, is a capacity. A capacity that develops as the result of developing many other capacities and virtues and behavioral predispositions. Some of these are of … Continue reading →

Posted in chapter 13, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Friendship, Generosity, Gratitude, Honesty, Immature Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Love, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare (updated 12-26-2012)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by John

. (This is an updated version of a post I first publish on Feb 28, 2012 — “Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare“) . . “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Czeslaw Milosz, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Honesty, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

When It Comes to Love, We ALL Start Out As Beginners . . .

Posted on March 2, 2012 by John

When it comes to love, we all start out as beginners. It’s like picking up a tennis racquet for the first time. We may like to think that we already know how to hit the ball, and that with a … Continue reading →

Posted in Alan Paton, Antilove, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Emotional Maturity, Gandhi, Gratitude, Immature Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Leo Buscaglia, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Rilke, Spiritual Growth, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare

Posted on February 28, 2012 by John

“We too often love things and use people when we should be using things and loving people.” “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend it; when your friendship fails, you run.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Courage, Dependency, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Love is Not a Feeling, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

More on the Difference Between Loving and Being “In Love”

Posted on May 5, 2011 by John

When it comes to relationships, we Americans are finding that we have been tutored for years in the wrong art. In a dazzling display of form over substance, our culture fawns over the fleeting ephemeral madness of being in love … Continue reading →

Posted in "A General Theory of Love", Love, Love is a Commitment, Love is Not a Feeling | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Real Love Is a Choice and a Commitment

Posted on March 16, 2011 by John

It was then that the fox appeared. “Good morning,” said the fox. “Good morning,” the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing. “I am right here,” the voice said, “under the apple tree.” “Who are … Continue reading →

Posted in Amygdala, Bonding Behaviors, Courage, Differentiation, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, The Little Prince, The Road Less Traveled, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Why Real Love Is Not a Feeling

Posted on March 4, 2011 by John

The feeling of love is about oneself—how we feel about a person or how a person makes us feel is completely about us, not the other person. And that’s not love—not real love. Real love is about the other person … Continue reading →

Posted in Courage, Differentiation, Erich Fromm, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments