Category Archives: Emotional Maturity

Dr. Tori Olds’ Interview with Dr. Stan Tatkin, Founder of PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy)

Posted on December 28, 2023 by John

(My abridged transcription. Parentheses and bold and italics are mine.) Let me start with things that are true about the human primate. We are threat animals: if we do anything really really well we are good at scanning for threat … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. Stan Tatkin, Dr. Tori Olds, Emotional Maturity, Growing Up, Intimate Relationships, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, PACT - Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, Personal Growth, Self-Awareness | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What Are Your Relationships Based On?

Posted on November 29, 2013 by John

. [W]hat is . . . relationship generally based on? Is it not based on so-called interdependence, mutual assistance? At least we say it is mutual help, mutual aid and so on, but, actually, apart from words, apart from the … Continue reading →

Posted in Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Krishnamurti, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, What is Love? | 1 Comment

Love Is a Verb (“I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married—The Real Truth About Love”)

Posted on October 29, 2013 by John

. I am going to reblog a very honest and nicely-written article with the attention-grabbing perhaps even somewhat shocking title of “I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married” (The Real Truth About Love) ” by Elad Nehorai (the … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Five Love Languages", Elad Nehorai, Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

May Your Choices Reflect What’s Best in You….

Posted on October 17, 2013 by John

When our choices reflect what’s best in us, when our choices reflect the better angels of our nature, when our choices reflect our deepest values and highest hopes, our virtues–courage, patience, wisdom, discernment, perspective–and principles such as a reverence for … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Critical Thinking, Emotional Maturity, Love is a Choice, Nelson Mandela, Personal Growth, Perspective, The Examined Life, Truth, What is Love? | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Passion & Reason: Following Your Head & Following Your Heart (or Tuning Both & Following Both)

Posted on February 17, 2013 by John

. . We’re all at the helm of something with an impressive amount of horsepower—this body, with its heart, ego, and genitalia, each full of their own passions, motivations, preferences, desires, aversions.  The ego wants fame, attention, power, immortality, runs … Continue reading →

Posted in Emotional Maturity, Gibran, M. Scott Peck, Mental Health, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Positive Peace versus Negative Peace: A Few Quotes & Excerpts on How Real Peace and Understanding Might Actually Be Achieved

Posted on January 18, 2013 by John

(or—How to Distinguish Those Who Really Are Trying to Promote True Peace from Those Who Are Merely Seeking Comfort, Escape, and the Appearance of Peace) . . Peace is a nebulous word, having at least *two* definitions. And the way … Continue reading →

Posted in B4Peace, Baltasar Gracián, Bloggers for Peace, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Difficulty, Emerson, Emotional Maturity, Gandhi, Henry Ward Beecher, Luke 12:51, Martin Luther King Jr., Matthew 10:34, Perspective, Spiritual Growth, The Dalai Lama, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Only Proactive People Can Genuinely Love Others, Reactive People Can’t (updated)

Posted on January 17, 2013 by John

(The following is abridged and adapted and modified from Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”) Between stimulus and response, human beings have the freedom to choose—but only *if* we develop and … Continue reading →

Posted in "Man's Search for Meaning", "Siddhartha", Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Hermann Hesse, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Love, the Feeling, versus Love, the Capacity (Immature Love versus Mature Love, part 2)

Posted on January 8, 2013 by John

. A properly (or fully) developed human being is a Loving human being. Love, ultimately, is a capacity. A capacity that develops as the result of developing many other capacities and virtues and behavioral predispositions. Some of these are of … Continue reading →

Posted in chapter 13, Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Friendship, Generosity, Gratitude, Honesty, Immature Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Love, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare (updated 12-26-2012)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by John

. (This is an updated version of a post I first publish on Feb 28, 2012 — “Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare“) . . “We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Czeslaw Milosz, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Generosity, Honesty, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Real Love, Self-Extension, Spiritual Growth, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thomas Merton, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments