Category Archives: What is Love?

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In the Gap Between Stimulus and Response is Where Real Love Occurs

Posted on March 12, 2016 by John

I’ll meet you there (to riff on Rumi). Or better yet: Start meeting your partner there. Choice is sexy. When partners choose when and where and how they want to have sex, that is sexy. When they make a choice to engage … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Conscious Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What Does “I Love You” Mean to You?

Posted on February 17, 2016 by John

What does it really mean when you say “I love you” to your partner/spouse? Does it ultimately mean— “I like/love/am addicted to how you make me feel, I like/love/am addicted to what you do for me because it makes me feel warm, … Continue reading →

Posted in Love, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

Love Means Opening Yourself Up

Posted on February 15, 2016 by John

. .   A big part of love means consciously opening yourself up to your beloved and sharing with your partner from what’s best in you. This means consciously choosing and risking being vulnerable and trusting your partner and revealing … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Four Loves", C.S. Lewis, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, Truth, Vulnerability, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Is it Possible to Lie & Deceive Someone We Love?

Posted on January 27, 2015 by John

Is it possible to lie and deceive someone we love? One of the blogs I read on occasion (http://relationshipremedy.com/2015/01/28/sex-lies-and-the-truth/) asked a question similar to that asked above. And the short answer is: No, of course not. And the longer answer … Continue reading →

Posted in Antilove, Commitment, Immature Love, Intimacy, Kindness, Love, Love Is a Verb, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Real Love, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How to Know If You Are REALLY Ready For a Real Relationship

Posted on April 10, 2014 by John

How do you know if you are (or your partner is) really ready for a REAL relationship. Condition 1: You have strong feelings or a strong sense of attraction for another. You are infatuated with him or her. You are … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Martin Luther King Jr., Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

May God Bless Us All . . . with Discomfort, Anger, Tears, and Foolishness

Posted on December 5, 2013 by John

. . . This is not by any means what we normally think of when asking God to bless us.  Maybe when asking God to “bless” our enemies or oppressors, but not when asking him to bless our family and … Continue reading →

Posted in Community, Conscience, Courage, Critical Thinking, Mother Teresa, Personal Growth, Ruth Fox, Saint Teresa of Avila, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Marriage Box. (Relationships Are About What We Put Into Them, Not What We Get Out of Them)

Posted on December 4, 2013 by John

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Robbins, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Marriage Box, Mature Love, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Real Love, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

What Are Your Relationships Based On?

Posted on November 29, 2013 by John

. [W]hat is . . . relationship generally based on? Is it not based on so-called interdependence, mutual assistance? At least we say it is mutual help, mutual aid and so on, but, actually, apart from words, apart from the … Continue reading →

Posted in Emotional Maturity, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Krishnamurti, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life, What is Love? | 1 Comment

How To Begin Being More Thankful

Posted on November 28, 2013 by John

Gratitude, like love, is best defined not as a feeling, but as something so much more and different: as a choice, a behavior, an attitude, as a way of seeing things, as a way of perceiving and thinking about things. … Continue reading →

Posted in "Otherwise", Gratitude, Jane Kenyon, The Examined Life, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment