Category Archives: Love is a Decision

Marriage & the Marriage Vows

Posted on January 8, 2024 by John

We all know marriage (Christian marriage, Catholic Marriage, any religiously sanctioned marriage) involves making sacred promises to another. But do we really get what those promises involve? Do we really understand — meaning grasp, deeply comprehend — that we are … Continue reading →

Posted in Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Marital Vows, Marriage, Marriage Vows, Personal Growth, Perspective, Spiritual Growth | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Is Your Heart Like a Cup or Like a River?

Posted on December 9, 2023 by John

From Zen Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hahn’s book “How to Love” — “If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Conscious Love, Ego, Emotional Maturity, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Extension, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Genuine Love & Conscience: Truth v Lies

Posted on November 4, 2023 by John

My writings on this blog thus far have largely focused on differentiating Genuine Love — willing and acting towards the best and deepest and highest interests of the other person as an actual distinct and unique human being in their … Continue reading →

Posted in Gospel of John, Gospel of Matthew, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Personal Growth, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth, The Examined Life | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Lessons and Liberation in Marriage

Posted on June 7, 2023 by John

“In our society, of course, there is no need to become an adult. One may remain—one is exhorted daily to remain—a child forever. “Marriage is pictured as a form of imprisonment, oppression, boredom, and chafing hindrance. Not all these accusations … Continue reading →

Posted in "Marriage Isn't For You", Character, Commitment, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Michael Novak, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Responsibility, Self-Awareness, Self-Extension, The Examined Life, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

In the Gap Between Stimulus and Response is Where Real Love Occurs

Posted on March 12, 2016 by John

I’ll meet you there (to riff on Rumi). Or better yet: Start meeting your partner there. Choice is sexy. When partners choose when and where and how they want to have sex, that is sexy. When they make a choice to engage … Continue reading →

Posted in Character, Conscious Love, Intimacy, Intimate Relationships, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, The Examined Life, Truth, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Love Means Opening Yourself Up

Posted on February 15, 2016 by John

. .   A big part of love means consciously opening yourself up to your beloved and sharing with your partner from what’s best in you. This means consciously choosing and risking being vulnerable and trusting your partner and revealing … Continue reading →

Posted in "The Four Loves", C.S. Lewis, Conscious Love, Critical Thinking, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is Not a Feeling, Mature Love, Personal Growth, Perspective, Real Love, Self-Awareness, Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Examined Life, Truth, Vulnerability, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Marriage Box. (Relationships Are About What We Put Into Them, Not What We Get Out of Them)

Posted on December 4, 2013 by John

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Robbins, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Love is an Act of Will, Love is Not a Feeling, Marriage Box, Mature Love, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Real Love, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Love Story in Pictures — Taylor Morris & Danielle Kelly

Posted on November 21, 2013 by John

I recently came across the story online of this incredible young couple, Taylor Morris & Danielle Kelly, and I wanted to share the site I originally found the story on as well as other sites I found while looking more … Continue reading →

Posted in Commitment, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love Is a Verb, Mature Love, Real Love, Taylor Morris, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Only Proactive People Can Genuinely Love Others, Reactive People Can’t (updated)

Posted on January 17, 2013 by John

(The following is abridged and adapted and modified from Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”) Between stimulus and response, human beings have the freedom to choose—but only *if* we develop and … Continue reading →

Posted in "Man's Search for Meaning", "Siddhartha", Conscience, Conscious Love, Courage, Critical Thinking, Differentiation, Emotional Maturity, Hermann Hesse, Immature Love, Intimate Relationships, Love is a Choice, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, Luke 6:32-35, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Mental Health, Perspective, Proactivity, Reactive, Real Love, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Examined Life, The Road Less Traveled, Truth, Viktor Frankl, Waking Up, What is Love? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

How to Fall in Love Again

Posted on December 7, 2012 by John

(This is an updated version of a page I first posted over a year ago . . . )  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “I have no … Continue reading →

Posted in C.S. Lewis, GinaParris.com, Glennon Melton, Love, Love is a Choice, Love is a Commitment, Love is a Decision, Love is Not a Feeling, M. Scott Peck, Mature Love, Momastery, Real Love, Self-Extension, The Road Less Traveled, Thomas Merton, What is Love?, Zig Ziglar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments